Sunday, April 26, 2009

Friendships..

I saw an interesting article about "Friendships"
in my English exam's paper during the first examination of March.
I love and appreciate it very much
so I would like to share this article with all of you.. :P
Last but not least, wish you all enjoy it and will get some benefit by this post..
Have a Happy Reading!
Friendship can be stretched to breaking point when one person does not respect the other's boundaries. "It can be a great burden having the best friend label," says psychologist and author, Dorothy Rowe.
"When I worked with depressed women, they expected their loved ones to be totally loyal. I had to explain that all relationships have limits. People with demanding friends need to learn how to say no, how not to put their friends needs over their own."
There are a number of reasons why friendships end. You have fewer values in common, the edgy competiton which sustained your friendship becomes irksome, your friend makes you feel guilty and her company ceases to be pleasurable. Thankfully, most endings are mutual burning out or drifting apart. The spaces between get-togethers lengthen, calls go unreturned, and you quietly drop off each other's festival card list. It is sad but no great loss. But what happens when the relationship is ailing and your friend does not want to let go? That is when you may have to take positive action, and it can be traumatic for both of you.
"It's very common for women to maintain relationships they would love to get out of," says Rowe. She adds that, "Women do it out of habit, guilt, apathy and reluctance to hurt someone's feelings or be seen as hard."
"As most of us change geographically and intellectually, in terms of our personal development, we're likely to outgrow most of our friendships. The more you have been through in life, the harder it is to find an actual "fit" in terms of getting on with people," says another psychologist, Gael Lindenfield. "So, when is enough enough? We all have different tolerance levels and the simple rule is, when your friendship is causing you more angst than pleasure, it is time to get out. Of course we all know that is not that easy. Splitting from a friend is a difficult thing to do, especially as most women want to be liked and find it hard to assert themselves in their personal friendships," says Lindenfield.
"Prepare as you would for an interview - practice what you want to say and, if it helps, write a script and imagine yourself succeeding. Do not be afraid of a crisis - perhaps your friend needs a showdown to make her re-evaluate her life and take action," she continues. "But try to be honest without playing therapist or criticizing her. Instead, explain how the relationship is not working because you always feel upset, angry and miserable after you have been together or tell her how you have moved on to become a different person."
Psychotherapist Susan Irving takes it even further. "Only if you are trying to save the friendship is it worth the pain and difficulty of being honest," she says. So, why are there so many successful, sane women who end up looking after lost souls and crisis-junkies? Irving says, "For every extrovert, there is a hidden introvert. When an extrovert person is looking after someone who is unhappy or insecure, they are really looking after the introvert part of themselves." Whichever path you choose, the point is that you do not have to cling to all your friendships, whether you want it or not. And the really exciting thing about ending unsatisfactory relationships is that you are actually making more time to spend with people you really love. :)


Adapted from The Star, 2005

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Valentine's day..

What is the meaning of Valentine's day..
I know that my friends will tell me that Valentine's day is just a day for couple to celebrate and it is a good chance for who was fall in love with someone to shows their love towards her or him.. And they will think that it is a good day to receive, give or exchange present, chocolate and flower with their love or friends..
But for me, Valentine's day is full of meaning and significant.. I think that Valentine's day is a day for me to think about my love.. will i be persistent to fall in love with you.. will i continue to love you irrevocably and unconditionally whatever happens.. This is what i think in Valentine's day.. maybe you wonder why i will think about this during Valentine's day.. But i just can say that it is a good action for someone who felt confused in their love just like me.. make sure you're clear in love and will not regret after confirmed.. Good Luck and God Bless..
Actually I'm thankful and grateful to get birthday songs, presents, wishes, cakes, cards, chocolates, sweets, messages, mails, comments and etc from my dear family and lovely friends during Valentine's day and my birthday also.. I felt happy on that day actually.. Thanks a lot to my family and friends.. Real Thanks.. Love you all always..
Besides that, I would like to say thank you to my dearest mummy and daddy.. Because without them, will without joey.. I felt lucky and glad that i was born in 14th february 1992.. not about this day is Valentine's day.. it is about this day is this day.. ~Joey's birthday.. haha.. :)

Saturday, January 10, 2009

What a year for me..

Lol.. time has gone by fast.. week by week, day by day pass by.. unbelievable.. I'm 17 years old next month.. this year i'm sitting for my SPM.. it is a very important year for me and all people who was born in 1992.. Gambate.. And all the best in SPM for all my dear friend and all who is sitting for SPM too..
Last year i'm study in B class.. a class which did not study additional mathematics.. but this year everything was changed.. I had changed my class again.. changed to a new class which need to study additional mathematics.. That's mean i need to learn the additional mathematics that i did not learn last year.. what a bad way..
I really felt the suffer from stress, pressure, tension and extremely tired.. I really don't know whether i will be able to handle or settle it or not.. I'm scared.. worry about it.. actually i'm a girl who is no confidence.. it's true.. I'm lack of confidence for that.. what can i do now.. find tuition? ask my friend to teach? study myself?
All changes of plan have made me totally confused.. Who will help me? who will spend time for me? who will support me until the end? who will always stand by my side whatever happens? is you? is you all? is others or nobody will to be the who that i typed? sigh..
Sometimes i really doubt whether supporter is there for me or not.. if you're there for me.. thanks a lot.. 2009 maybe is the last year for me to study in Kuen Cheng.. so many memories of my school.. I promise i will memorize it all the time.. just like i keep the happy memories of my primary school time in my heart.. :P